


Beneath the Clothes

by Samftm1991



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: F/M, PTSD, Rape, Trans Character, Violence, teacher student relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2019-11-20 15:32:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18128282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samftm1991/pseuds/Samftm1991
Summary: What secrets will Hermione discover when she accidentally trips over her bag after reading to Severus Snape while he is in a coma? This will be a fairly long series so please stay tuned!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first time writing in years so bare with me on this. I don't see many if at all any trans main characters in any of the Harry Potter fanfics so decided to write one. I am trans myself so I'm not just saying random things I have lived through it so I know the ins and outs.

Severus Snape would never be called a kind man, even in a coma he had a permanent scowl on his face. It had been three weeks since Nagini’s bite in the battle of Hogwarts, he had planned on being dead by the end of it but instead he laid there; trapped inside his body.

Today was different though he couldn’t see or speak but he could hear people talking couldn’t make out what they were saying but he could hear him. His body wouldn’t respond no matter what he asked it to do, he remembers hearing about this as a child. People who were in a coma could hear and understand what was going on beside them but no way to answer.

Another week passed and Severus still hadn’t woken up, but now in this semi lucid state he was now plagued by dreams and nightmares. Unable to move or scream he had to play them out over and over again in his mind. The day he took the dark mark is how it always started, the pain searing through his arm and into his body the way the dark lord looked at him as though he was a piece of meat. Then came the night Lily died the wailing of Harry as he stood in his crib as his mother and father were dead. Then it would fade into the night of Albus Dumbledore’s death as he muttered those fateful words to kill him. It then always ended with him lying in his own blood staring into those eyes of a child, no a young man who he protected till the end. 

He still hadn’t figured out who or why someone came back and saved him, he was supposed to die not lay here not able to do anything.

Severus was laying there reciting potions in his mind to keep him occupied when he heard footsteps approaching. Which stopped beside his bed. 

“Do you know if he will wake up” Minerva questioned

“I don’t know we have done all we can, the attack and poison did a large amount of damage but the wound is healed and the poison is out of his system, it is now just a waiting game” Poppy answered

Severus realized he must be still at Hogwarts, as Poppy wouldn’t be at St.Mungo’s, this gave his mind a jolt, this is his home he needs to wake up.

Another set of footsteps were approaching and Poppy and Minerva’s footsteps were leaving his bedside to meet this unknown person, who else would be coming to see him he wondered. He then realized they probably were coming to see someone else no one wants to see him.

Just out of ear shot Hermione stopped to speak with Minerva and Poppy.

“Good Morning Professor, How is Professor Snape doing?” Hermione asked

“Good Morning Miss Granger, he is still asleep no progression in his condition” Minerva Answered warily

“Well I have been doing some research in muggle libraries and on the internet and they say reading to the patient can help their mind and bring them out of comas, would it be okay if I read to him?” Hermione stated abruptly

Minerva looked at her with sadness and hope on her face “Of course you can we lass” 

“Thank you Headmistress” Hermione said happily

Hermione made her way over to the bed in which Severus Snape laid, raising her wand and summoning a chair she sat down beside him with a large book in her hands. 

“Good morning professor, I hope you don’t mind I am going to read to you for a bit” Hermione stated nervously, normally he would snap at her for speaking so much, so she hoped he will enjoy this

Severus on the other hand couldn’t make out the voice of who was beside him, he knew it was a student but who in their right mind would want to be with him instead of enjoying their summer.

This voice beside him started to speak, she is reading to him but why? He recognizes what she is reading: 

“Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more.  
By Sinel’s death I know I am thane of  
Glamis;  
But how of Cawdor? The Thane of Cawdor  
Lives,  
A Prosperous gentlemen; and to be king  
Stands not within the prospect of belief,  
No more than to be Cawdor, Stay from  
Whence  
You owe this strange intelligence? Or why  
Upon this blasted heath you stop our way  
With such prophetic greetings? Speak, I  
Charge You”

Interesting he thinks to himself, she is reading me a muggle book, he listens intently as he hasn’t read Macbeth in a very long time. She finished the whole play with him that day. He however finds this voice soothing and rather comforting, it’s a voice he knows but from where.

“Alright professor, that is all for you today. I will be back tomorrow for another reading session” Hermione said

She gathered her things up and stood up and took a step away from Severus’s bed when she caught her food on her bags strap causing her to trip, in doing so she pulled Snape’s Covers away from his chest and neck.

Hermione managed to regain her balance, and then realized what she had done. The covers being pulled away made the view of his scars on his neck so much easier to see. They were dark pink and looked painful as they were still new. 

She realized she needed to pull the sheet back to where it was before, as she moved to grab the sheets she caught sight of his chest. Scars upon scars, each one would have a story to tell. His time as a spy caused great pain to him and she could see that in the way the scars were spread out across his body. Two scars in particular caught her eye thought, each one was right below his pectoral muscle stretching from the middle of his chest with an inch separating them to his side under his armpit.  
She had never seen scars like this before, what were they from she wondered. They were too precise to be from the dark lord or his spy missions. She was going to get to the bottom of this as there were not normal to her eye. She wondered if they were self-inflicted, but if they were why did he do it?  
Remembering what she was doing Hermione pulled the sheet back to Severus’s neck and gave him a quick goodbye and was off to find Poppy to let her know she would be back tomorrow at the same time.

Severus Snape was never nervous but as soon as he felt the sheet move off his chest he knew his secret was going to come out into the open. The only people who knew his secret and were alive, were himself, Minerva and poppy. No one else knew anymore he had kept it secret for so long. But as soon as they saw his scars they would know what they were from. Especially when he figured out the voice it belonged to no other than the brains of the golden trio Hermione Granger.

Anyone else would see the scars and think nothing of them, but she will look into them and once she figures out what they mean his secret is out.

Severus Snape can see the headlines in the Daily Prophet in his mind:  
*Ex Death Eater, Order of Merlin First Class Severus Snape is Transgenered*


	2. Chapter 2

Severus laid there listening to Hermione’s footsteps get quieter and quieter as his mind raced, what was he going to do? He would be t laughing stock of the wizarding world if this came to light, he spent years keeping this a secret to possibly have it outed by a know it all.

He knew he wouldn’t get any sleep that night, well if you could call it sleep he thought as no matter what he does it seems like he is always sleeping because of this blasted coma.  
Severus started thinking back to how he came to be who he was. When he was born he was born female to a witch mother and a muggle father, his father was so happy to have a little girl the apple of his eye. But as Severus started to age he realized by the age of five he was not a girl but was a boy instead. His father was not pleased that his mother went along with this, constantly calling him a freak of nature even more so then just being a wizard. He was lucky as he was always very androgynous in appearance so no one called him a girl if he was in boys clothing. Many nights he would be beat with a leather belt from his father trying to beat the freak out of him.

His escape was running to a local pond and just sitting by the water every day to get away from the explosive arguments and fights in the house. He met a young girl one day who he ended up befriending her name was Lily Evans. Countless days they laid by the pond just talking about what they would do when they reached Hogwarts and what house they would be put into. Many times Severus wanted to tell her about himself but he always got it caught in his throat to scared to tell her, afraid to lose his one friend. 

Then the letter came from Hogwarts congratulating him about his acceptance to the school, only problem was it was addressed to Miss. Snape. He sat in his room for hours trying to figure out how to write a letter to the headmaster to tell him about the issue at hand. Finally after multiple tries he managed to write it:

Dear Headmaster,

I am writing back to you to inform you that I do not go by Miss. Snape but prefer Mr. Severus Snape. I am transgendered and am a boy. I know this isn’t widely accepted, and I know if you would prefer a freak like me not to be in your school I will not be attending. I just ask to be treated like a boy like I am and not have my secret let out.  
Thank you,

Severus Snape

He remembered sending off that letter and feeling sick to his stomach with fear of the answer, he wanted to get away from this horrible home but also wanted to be treated for who he was not as a girl.  
He didn’t have to wait long for his answer, an owl brought a letter for him with his correct name on the front the next morning.

Dear Mr. Severus Snape,

Thank you for expressing your concerns in regarding who you are, here at Hogwarts we treat everyone equally no matter where you come from. You will be sorted with the boys and treated as one. However I have to admit my nervousness in this as you get older and your body decides to change. I will be informing the school medi witch as well in case you need anything. 

Albus Dumbledore

Severus’s heart was in his throat he was going to be accepted at Hogwarts for who he was. He had to tell Lily!

He had found her in the same place he normally did every day by the lake.

“Hello Severus, how are you? Did you get your letter?” she asked excitedly

“Hello Lily, yes I did. I cant wait to be going to Hogwarts. But I need to tell you something first” Severus Said Nervously

“Of course, you can tell me anything what’s going on?” Lily asked looking over at Severus

“Its really important, and I don’t want to loose you as a friend but I have needed to tell you this since I met you. I wasn’t born male, I am transgendered which means I was born a girl but I’m not so I am transitioning to male. I know I am a freak but I hope it doesn’t scare you.” Severus managed to blurt out

Lily just looked at him up and down processing what he had just said to her, Severus couldn’t read what she was thinking so he was getting more and more scared.

“I accept it, I have only known you as Severus so that’s who you are to me and nothing else. I will keep this secret. Does school know? She asked

“I’m so happy you accept me it scared me thinking you wouldn’t. Yes school knows Dumbledore tells me I will be treated like all the other boys. I’m so excited.” Severus said with a smile

With that, the memory faded to another one from his third year. Every day he had to cast a Reducto on his chest that kept growing, damn puberty it was getting harder and harder for him to keep people from knowing who he was. It was easier to hide his period that started in his second year. He had finally had enough and went to talk to Madame Pomfrey for something that would stop his  
puberty.

“Excuse me Madame Pomfrey, I need to talk to you regarding some issues that have been going on” Snape said staring at the ground

“Of course young man what can I do for you?” She asked in a comforting tone

“I know you know about me…. I need to stop this Female puberty that is happening I can’t deal with it anymore. Someone is going to find out. What can I do?” Snape stated still looking at the ground

“Well young man, I had been wondering how long it was going to take for you to come to me for help. I did some research when you first came to Hogwarts after Professor Dumbledore told me. So since second year I have had a store of potions waiting for you. There is just one that needs to be taken weekly, preferably on the same day.” Madame Pomfrey stated 

“What is the potion, and what will it do?” Snape asked nervously

“It is potion that adds testosterone into your body. As yours doesn’t produce it naturally you need to take it to give you the desired effects. This will stop your chest from growing anymore, and help drop your voice and stop that period of yours.” Madame Pomfrey smiled

 

“How do I go around getting this potion? And how do I manage to get rid of my chest permanently? Same as how do I get rid of all the internal female organs? Snape asked

“I have made enough for the next month. It is a fairly simple potion and I have heard you are quite confident in potions. I can set it up so you can come in and make the batch for the month in here. As for the others you have to go to St. Mungo’s to have them removed but you must wait till you are of age.” She answered.

“Thank you very much” Snape stated

He grabbed a vile of this potion and uncorked it and downed it. He had never felt any better. He was going to be the man he knew he was.

That memory faded away and he was looking up at the white walls of St. Mungo’s, the day he turned seventeen he was wheeled into an operating studio to get rid of his internal female organs and his chest. No one knew he was here other than Lily, she had kept her word and never told anyone in the school who he was. There were only a handfull of people who knew he was transgendered, and to the others he was just quiet Severus Snape. But that is how he got those scars that Hermione Granger knew about.

That memory faded away as well as he drifted off into a restless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for the long time not posting! I just had back surgery so havent been to up to writing. but here is a new chapter hope you all like it!

As Hermione bid goodbye to a comatose Severus her mind was racing trying to understand what she had just seen. She didn’t understand what those scars were but they looked as though at one point what ever happened was bad. He had other scars she saw when the sheet move down his body, but none were as big and almost surgical looking as those. 

 

She wondered if Professor McGonagall would know what happened to him, or even Madam Pomfrey they had known him since he first stepped foot into Hogwarts at the age for eleven. 

As she walked out she stopped at the medi witch office to wish a farewell and goodnight to Madame Pomfrey and saw that Professor McGonagall was in there having a cup of tea with her. As she knocked both women looked up at her.

“Would your care for a cup of tea deary?” asked Madame Pomfrey

“Yes that would be lovely” Hermione answered

As she sat down she wondered how she should bring this up, it was a slightly personal subject to bring up and she didn’t want to offend either women sitting there.

“I have a question that I don’t know if either of you could answer” Hermione said after taking her tea

“What question would that be dear?” Professor McGonagall answered

“Well after I was finished reading to Professor Snape, as I got up I accidentally caught the edge of the sheet and pull it partially off him. When I did it revealed his chest and all the scars. But there were two scars that stood out, they don’t look like any of his other scars they are to clean. Do you happen to know what they were from?” Hermione asked  
Both older women’s faces went white and Madame Pomfrey almost dropped her cup of tea out of shock from the question that was just asked. Both women stared at Hermione not knowing what to say for what felt like minutes. Professor McGonagall managed to speak first.

“That is something we cannot talk about, it is up to Professor Snape to tell you when he wakes. But do not go prying him to find out as it is not your place. Everyone is allowed to have their own secrets. Just like you have your own.” Professor McGonagall stated

Hermione didn’t know what to think, the answer she got was not what she was expecting. She sat quietly for a couple more minutes slowly sipping her tea. Finally she looked at the Head Mistress.

“I understand that it is not your place to tell me. I hope that she may tell me once he wakes.” Hermione said quietly

Professor McGonagall looked at Hermione with sadness. She knew the girl only wanted to help those who were hurt in this war. She was the only one other than staff who came to see him on a regular basis. Harry had stopped in one day only a few days after the end of the war to say his thanks for everything Severus had done. He had seen the memories that Severus had given him when he thought he was going to die. Omitting the parts that she knew Hermione would find out at some point.  
She knew what those scars meant and what they meant to Severus, he never had many friends as he was the out cast his one good friend never spoke to him again after the day he called her a mud blood. But still kept his secret to herself.

She thought back to the first time she saw him walk into the great hall. Every teacher had been told about his letter to Albus. Hogwarts had at other times had trans students but they had always come out at later times in their life going usually into their sixth or seventh years. So this wasn’t a new topic for the teachers. They had seen the bullying and the transphobia that was rampant in youth especially within those who were ignorant.

Never had they had someone who was a first year and knew who they were so well. This was a good and bad thing. This meant they could house him with the other boys without worry no one was wiser. It was when all the other boys started puberty that they were worried for him. 

The moment he was sorted into Slytherin Minerva knew he was either going to be alright or things would end very badly. Pure blood families were not known to be the most accepting so that ignorance was passed down to their children. 

She watched him age and not be outed. He was such a quiet student and didn’t make a lot of friends, he did however befriend Lucius Malfoy who took him under his wing and showed him what it meant to be a Slytherin. She watched him go down the road of the Dark lord, almost lead hand in hand by Lucius.

The only time she had seen him show any bit of anxiety or nervousness was the final day he was at the school as a student. He was going to become a potions master she had overheard him talking to Albus one day regarding that. But he wasn’t nervous for that. Minerva didn’t realize what he was going to do the next day. But she knew later from Albus as Severus had confided in him in regards to what he was doing. 

The next time She had seen Severus was three years later, Albus had hired him on as the new potions teacher as Horace had decided he wanted to retire. He had grown up, a growth spurt must had hit him not long after he left Hogwarts. His mask that he wore everyday was crack proof except for one, November 1st. The day he sat at the Head table at Hogwarts, the day after Harry Potter Defeated the dark lord. The day he thought he no longer had to come to the Dark lords call because of the Dark mark. The day after his first love and only true friend died, his Lily. 

She remembered his face the day that Harry got sorted into his house. The look of a man who would do anything to protect the last line to Lily. Then over the years protecting the three of them.   
Minerva knew Severus cared more for the golden trio than he would ever admit. To him Hermione reminded him of Lily but was still her own person. If he woke from this coma she would be in his class everyday as she was returning to complete her studies. Maybe just maybe she would show him what it meant to talk to someone freely and openly. Maybe a friendship would be good for both of them.  
Hermione looked at Professor McGonagall as the older women just stared at her. She took another sip of her tea that had gone cold by now. Putting the cup on the coaster a little to hard. This brought Professor McGonagall out of her trance.

“Oh I am sorry Hermione I was remembering something from a long time ago” Professor McGonagall said smiling

“That is alright ma’am, I should better be off the boys will be wondering where I am. I will be back tomorrow if that is alright, same time?” Hermione asked

“Of course you’re always welcome here. Severus deserves to have company.” Professor McGonagall said

“Alright thank you, have a good night to both of you” Hermione stated

She got up and smiled to both older women as she walked out of the office. She slowly made her way to out beyond the gates of Hogwarts. She was going to get to the bottom of this no matter what it took. Hopefully the library at Grimmauld place would have the answers she was looking for. Harry had invited her over for the week to help clean up more of the house. Her parents had been found and their memories restored and they had returned to London and their old home. She knew if she couldn’t find it in the library the computer at her parent place would have the answers.

She stepped outside the gate and the loud crack of Apparition, Hermione had left Hogwarts to return to her friends.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione apparated to a disserted alleyway close to Grimmauld place, quickly poking her head out of the alley to make sure no one was around and stepped out. It was a beautiful night in late June, one of those nights that you don’t want to go inside, but instead just sit out on a blanket and look at the stars. She knew when she got to the house she could ask Ron to go out with her, but she knew the answer she would get from him would be one of why would you do that, it sounds so boring.

As she walked, she was thinking about the last month, how things Three weeks ago, she had kissed Ron in the Chamber of Secrets. She had liked him for years and in that moment it was perfect. They had started dating the next day, she didn’t know if it was because it was right or because it just was something they could fall back onto. So much hurt and so much death was their relationship good or was it just there.

Every day it was the same, she would come back from Hogwarts and Harry would ask how everything was going, how the reconstruction was going, and even asked how Snape was doing. Ron on the other hand could care less. All he was concerned with it seemed was trying to get into her pants. He had become more and more touchy every day, complaining they never got time alone. She made it that way, she wasn’t ready for sex, but he didn’t seem to understand that. 

Professor McGonagall had offered all seventh years the chance to come back in September as 8th years to complete their last years. Some people had accepted like her, she wanted to have the knowledge even though she didn’t need it. While others mainly Harry and Ron had been offered honorary NEWTS in the classes they needed, as they were accepted into the Auror program starting in September. 

She knew what she wanted in her life, she wanted a career and to make the wizarding world a better place for all life, human and creature alike. She wanted to get married in time but she knew she wanted to be her own person not someone’s housewife popping out children, relying on her husband for everything. She knew that’s what Ron wanted, he wanted a wife to be like his mother, strong willed but always at home looking after the kids and cooking. She knew she didn’t want that, and knew that this relationship wouldn’t last no matter how much she liked him.

She had been so lost in thought she had almost walked past Grimmauld place, snapping out of her thoughts she walked up the steps, took a deep breath and walked inside. 

As she walked in she was greeted by a quiet meow, looking down she saw Crookshanks, bending down and giving him a quick scratch under the chin. She continued down the hall into the kitchen.

As she walked in she found Harry, Ron and Ginny sitting around the table eating nachos. 

Harry looked up and gave her a happy smile as a greeting as his mouth was full of food.

Ron on the other hand got up and walked up beside her and gave her a massive sloppy kiss on the cheek. 

“Were you at the school all day again?” Ron asked

“I was, is that a problem?” Hermione replied 

“No it’s not really a problem, but I want to spend time with you” Ron replied

She looked at him, and at Harry and Ginny who were looking at Ron in disbelief.

“I am spending time with you right now.” She replied

“Ya but I want just time for you and me, sorry Harry and Gin” Ron said defensively

Hermione just looked at Ron shaking her head

“Are you jealous that I don’t spend time with you?” She asked him sternly

“Yes I am, you spend every day with Snape, after he was an asshole to us for years, now that we know he was a good man you seem to only want to spend time with him” Ron answered angrily

“I cant believe you are jealous of Professor Snape, he is in a coma Ron. He deserves to have someone around him. He risked his life for years to keep us alive and safe. While all you can think of is that you want to get into my pants.”

Ron looked at her dumbfounded, not knowing how to answer her. 

“You know what Ron I’m going to the library, don’t you dare come and bother me. If you do, you wont be able to sit for a week!” Hermione screamed

Hermione gave Harry and Ginny a slight nod and stormed out of the room

She could hear Ginny telling Ron off about how he is being an idiot and that he needs to stop thinking with his dick. 

Hermione made it into the library and slammed the door. She sat down in a chair and put her head in her hands and started crying. She cared for him deeply but all he could think about was himself and his needs. She didn’t know what to do, she knew now that they wouldn’t last, but didn’t know how to end it. But at that moment she knew that this wasn’t the time to think about it. She needed to do research.

The library in Grimmauld place was huge and she didn’t know where to start. Sections on dark magic, herbology, magical animals, so many categories and she didn’t know where to start. She grabbed a book on dark magic and started reading. Hours later there was still no clues on what she had seen, rolling her neck around to get the kinks out she put the book down. She realized that she was going to have to make a stopover at her parents place. 

She very rarely went to her parent’s place, even after the war being over. Thankfully her parents’ house had been fully paid for the month before she had to obliviate her parents. She had also made sure to keep up with all the bills by putting them on auto withdrawals just in case she ever needed the use of the house again. She had talked to Kingsley after the final battle, he had talked with the Australian wizarding embassy and they had dispatched Aurors to find her parents. 

They had found them, they had made a new life for themselves. When the Aurors attempted to reverse the Obliviation there was no success. Kingsley had told Hermione this a week ago, she was devastated but she knew they were safe and happy with no knowledge of what had happened or that they had a daughter who gave up her family to make sure they were safe. 

She knew it would be hard on her to go to the house but she knew that she needed to find this out, maybe this would help Professor Snape. With that thought she would be able to get through this hardship. 

As she was putting the book that was in her lap away she was wondering to herself, why she cared so much about him now, was it just because she knew he needed a friend or was it because she actually cared for him. She grabbed the door handle and made it way to her room, wondering to herself did she like Professor Snape?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry its been absolutely crazy recently. I promise i am not giving up on this work

Hermione woke up with a start, another nightmare had plagued her sleep. Always the same dream, every night. Her dreams took her back to Malfoy Manner, and the torture she had dealt with from the Hands of Bellatrix.

Hermione looked around finding her muggle alarm clock. The alarm clock her parents gave her the day she left for Hogwarts the first time. She stopped and looked at it remembering how her parents were so worried she wouldn’t wake up in time for class. Smiling to herself thinking about how her parents made her promise she would use it, not understanding that there was a spell that she could set her wand as her alarm. She took the clock and had cherished it since that moment years ago.

Finally she pulled herself out of bed, it was only 7am but she knew she wouldn’t get more sleep so might as well start her day and figure out this mystery that was plaguing her regarding to Professor Snape. 

Making her way downstairs she heard nothing. Thinking to herself that she may get out of the house without getting stopped and questioned about where she was going and what she was doing.

Luck was not with her however, as soon as she entered there was Harry sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee and reading the days copy of the daily prophet. 

“Good morning” Harry said quietly, looking just above his paper

“Good morning to you as well, didn’t expect you to be awake” Hermione said almost annoyed

“Yeah I didn’t expect to be awake but I tossed and tuned and when I finally fell asleep I woke up from a nightmare almost an hour ago” Harry said almost embarrassed

“It’s okay Harry, I’m up for the same reason, and I get them every night and always the same one. They will go away in time. Everything is still so new to us” Hermione said in a way that she was trying to make herself believe what she said as well

Hermione went and grabbed a cup and the pot of coffee Harry had made, tested how warm it was and realizing that it was starting to get cold. She pulled out her wand and cast a simple warming charm and poured herself a cup.   
Gesturing to Harry if he wanted another cup. He waved his hand in a no thanks motion. She pulled a chair out across from Harry and sat down. 

“Any plans for the day Harry?” Hermione asked

“Yeah Ron, myself and Ginny are planning to do some more cleaning of the house. What about you? Wait let me guess off to Hogwarts to see Snape?” Harry asked laughing as he did

“Actually no, well not right away. I’m off to my parents place” Hermione answered

“Why to your parents’ house? What do you need to do there?” Harry asked questioningly

“Well I need to see what needs to be done to the house and if there is any cleaning that needs to be done. The aurors can’t fix my parents memories Harry. Kingsley told me that a few days ago. So I’m going to sell the house. I don’t want to ever live there again and well I need some where to live after this year. So I might as well sell and save the money and buy myself a small place come June.” Hermione answered sadly 

She hated lying, the house was in immaculate condition. And could be sold in less than a week if she decided. She didn’t need to do any cleaning. But she didn’t need Harry to know she was going to look information up in regards to Professor Snape. She planned on putting it up for sale two weeks before she went back to school.

“I didn’t know… I’m so sorry Hermione. We can come help you today instead of cleaning here. We don’t mind we have lots of time to clean this place up.” Harry gestured to Grimmauld place

“Its alright Harry, this is something I need to do myself. And plus you don’t want to see all my baby pictures, do you?” She answered laughing

 

“Yeah baby pictures aren’t really my thing, and oh Merlin could you imagine the boredom on Rons face if we dragged him with us?” Harry answered laughing as well

Hermione just stared and Harry and started to laugh, she was laughing harder then she had in months, imagining Ron having to help her clean her childhood home. Just imagining his face when they made it to her childhood bedroom with all her stuffed animals. 

“Thank you Harry, I needed that laugh more then you can imagine” Hermione said in a happier tone

They both sipped their coffee in silence after that laughing fit. Finally Hermione stood and bid a farewell to harry and stepped out of the kitchen to grab her coat.

Stepping outside, she walked down the stairs and walked a short way into an alleyway. And with a lous crack she apperated away to her parents place.

She landed in a deserted alleyway just a block away from her parents’ house. It was a beautiful day and Hermione was happy to take the walk slow. Looking around remembering all the fond memories from her childhood.   
Walking past the playground by her parents place she stopped. Looked over and then closed her eyes, she started to cry as remembered her father pushing her on the swing and her mother watching from the bench telling her to hang on tight.

She opened her eyes and continued to walk as she wiped her eyes off on the sleeve of her light jacket. She made it to her parents place. The house was immaculate, she was using her university savings to have someone come by every couple weeks to mow the grass and prune the trees and bushes. 

Hermione made her way into the house. Dust coated most surfaces, nothing a quick spell could clean up, but right now she had one thing in mind getting onto the computer and figuring out what caused those odd scars.  
Walking into her father’s old study, things didn’t look much different than when he lived there. The dentistry books were gone, packed up and taken to Australia. Everything else was the same. She sat down and pushed the button to turn on the Computer. Slowly the Computer came to life, over a year since it was last used meant it was taking its sweet time and needed to updates. 

Hermione got up and made her way throughout the house. She may have lied to Harry in regards to why she was coming here but she might as well clean up while she was waiting. Ten minutes later Hermione was sitting back down in front of the computer with a hot cup of tea in her hands.

She aimlessly spun herself around on the computer chair like she did as a child, waiting for the final few updates to come up. When a book caught her eye. It was a book on different disorders, she looked at It for a few seconds. Wondering why her parents would need a book like this. They had always taught her to expand her knowledge, so maybe this is just one of those things her parents were interested in.

Flipping through the book there were book marks in certain places; Chimerasism, ADHD, Tourette’s, Gender Identity Disorder, Schizophrenia were among the bookmarks. She wondered if her parents were trying to make more sense in different disorders they would encounter on a daily basis at work. But one caught her eye why would they need to know about this Gender Identity Disorder? As she went to open that book mark again the computer came to life, Hermione placed the book beside her and logged onto the computer.

She stared at the google search engine, wondering how to word her question in the best way to get the best results. She typed in the first question: 

Chest scars? Different links popped up, mostly information about different accidents.

She tried another way;

Male chest? Links once again popped up, this time many pictures of chiselled chest and naked men, Hermione blushed and backed out of those very fast.

Hermione tried and tried to find the correct wording, to get the correct results. She was getting more and more annoyed. Wondering if she was just over thinking the scars on Professors Snape’s chest.

She was ready to give up and decided if she couldn’t find anything on this last check then she wouldn’t push it anymore. Hermione typed “Why is there scars across a male chest?”

Multiple links popped up just like the other searches, one link on liposuction, another on whether or not men can grow breasts. Then one caught her eye, Transgender male Chest surgery. She clicked on the link, the website looked like one that was made by not by a company but written by a normal person.

The top sentences were talking about double mastectomy’s and Gender identity Disorder. She stopped scrolling and grabbed the book she was looking at earlier and opened it up to the bookmark. The chapter was explaining how someone who was born Male would transition to Female as they were born into the wrong body or in turn someone who was born female would transition to male because they were born into the wrong body.

She looked back to the computer screen and continued to scroll down and saw pictures of men’s chests, they had the same scars across their chest as Professor Snape. She knew now why he had those scars, they were medically done to make his body the way he knew it was supposed to be. Hermione backed out of that webpage and typed in transgender male into the search bar and thousands of pages popped up almost all written by men who were like Professor Snape.

Hermione surfed the web for a few more hours reading different account from different people in regards to their coming out and their life and tribulations as someone who is transgender. Hermione finally leaned back and turned off the computer and stretched. Her mind was going miles a minute trying to figure out what she had just learned.

The one thing she knew from reading all these accounts from other people, was this was a massive piece of information that she knew. And with how secretive Professor Snape was she knew that only a few people must know this information. The information she stumbled upon was one of which he must have only told the people he trusted fully.

Hermione made her way out of the house, turning to lock the door. She smiled and made her way to that back alleyway and with a loud crack she left to make her way to Hogwarts.

She landed outside the gates, and made her way up the long walkway to the school. Walking in the door she ran into no one which wasn’t surprising as everyone was still trying to make sure the school was fixed enough to host students in a little more than three month. 

Walking into the infirmary she walked past Madam Pomfrey, smiling politely and giving a small wave. Hermione made her way to Professor Snape’s bed side.


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione grabbed the closest chair and pulled it to Professor Snape’s bedside. Sitting down she looked at his comatose figure. The scar on his neck was almost healed. Large pig raised scars ran across his neck, she knew if and when he woke they would mostly be covered by his signature high necked clothing. 

Professor Snape was awake in his mind, his body still failing him. He heard the door to the infirmary open and then close then a very light tap of shoes, then the drag of the chair next to his bed side. He could smell her perfume, something sweet and comforting. He had to stop and think to himself, did he really think this Hermione was comforting? 

His mind was spinning, he hadn’t felt this feeling in years. He was comforted by the smell and presence of Hermione. His heart fluttered, he cared for this person. But he thought to himself that he shouldn’t get his hopes up, why would someone care for him. He was a freak as he was always taught and an ex death eater.

He thought about the past three weeks. There were many well wishers coming in and out everyday. Most staying no more then a few minutes, thanking him for what he did and wishing he would wake up and be able to live a life of peace. He knew Harry had given his memories to others and knew from this women that his name was cleared because of those memories. 

But with those thoughts, Severus was wondering if Hermione had figured out his secret. And if she had, was it the next big news. Even if he was free he would not be free if this information came to light.

“Good morning Professor” Hermione said

“It’s a beautiful day out today, I wish you could see it” Hermione continued

Hermione heard a noise behind her, McGonagall was walking in most likely being told about her presence from Madame Pomfrey.

“Good morning Ma’am” Hermione said smiling

“Good morning Dear, how are you this morning?” Professor McGonagall asked happily

 

“I am doing well, went to my parents house this morning, got many things done already at this early time” Hermione stated 

“That is very good to hear, when you are finished with Severus please come and find me. I would like to speak with you” Professor McGonagall said then walked back out of the infirmary

Hermione turned back to Professor Snape, she smiled to him. She thought how peaceful that he looked like this. He was finally at peace she thought, no more masters no more being controlled in his every move.  
Looking over at him Hermione just started talking not knowing why she was saying what she was.

“Good morning Sir, I’m sorry about yesterday I didn’t mean to pull your sheet down when I was getting up. I am just as clumsy as you always said I was. What I saw yesterday confused me, I had to do research on it. I’m sorry if you believe that I over stepped your personal boundaries, but I just had to know. I know your secret, I don’t understand it fully. But it must of have been so hard on you that you go and have major surgery to make your body to match your mind. I know you are transgender sir. I don’t think of you any differently, you are a man. No you are a great man, who protected us for seven years, even if we didn’t think you were. Your secret is safe with me and always will be” Hermione managed to get out

Severus couldn’t believe what he had just heard. She knew about him. She had found out his biggest secret one that few knew. But she wasn’t going to go and tell everyone. She didn’t think of him any differently. At this moment Severus knew he had to make his body wake up, maybe he could have a better life. Maybe a friendship? Or a relationship, no he thought to himself she was a student and she wouldn’t like him in that way. She may still not think of him differently byt when it comes to relationships he wasn’t a “real man” as he had been told before. She would want a man with the proper equipment in his pants.

“Alright Sir I managed to get that out, now how about a little reading for the day?” Hermione asked even when she knew she wouldn’t get an answer

Hermione hadn’t brought a book along with her today in her rush out of the house, but saw today’s daily prophet sitting on a table nearby. Getting up she grabbed the newspaper and sat back down.

Hermione opened the paper up, reading the headlines and trying to figure out what to start with.

“Well might as well start with this, headline for today is Lucius Malfoy has been sentenced to life in Azkaban while Narcissa Malfoy has been sentenced to five years of house arrest. While Draco Malfoy has been sentenced to finish his final year at Hogwarts and two years community service once school has finished next June.” Hermione said with some remorse in her voice

Flipping to the next page she scanned the pages looking for something on a happier note. Once finding one she started speaking again. 

“Diagon alley establishments have slowly began to open once again, most notably Ollivanders wand shop as well Weasley’s Wizarding Weazes has re-opened after the untimely death of co-owner Fred Weasley during the battle of Hogwarts. The re-opening of this shop shows that the wizarding community need a little more happiness and fun and jokes in the world following this large loss of people the past year” Hermione continued holding back a sob  
Finding a final article that she thought Professor Snape would enjoy if he was able to hear what she was saying.

“Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry will reopen for the school year in September. The headmistress of Hogwarts; Professor McGonagall has stated at the school will be completed it repairs in time for the new school year. This year there will be eighth year class, those of who were coming back to finish their final year of school. Included in this eighth year are Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom as well as the brains of the Golden Trio Hermione Granger. However Harry potter and Ronald Weasley have decided to forgo this final year and were given honorary NEWTS and will be attending the Aurors training program starting in September. We at the Daily Prophet wish all these students the best in the coming years studies.” Hermione said happily

“Well Professor I will be coming back here for my final year, I do hope you wake up before the school year starts. I think Headmistress would give you your old job back if you really wanted it. They still haven’t gotten a new Defense teacher I know how much you wanted that position.” Hermione said honestly

“I am going to go see the Headmistress now. I do really hope that you wake up soon Sir. And I hope maybe that you can hear me when I’m talking to you. I do hope we could start a new when you do wake up.” Hermione said getting up

She stood by his bedside thinking about what she should do next. She finally came to a decision, she walked right to Severus’s bedside and leant down and placed a light kiss on his forehead. She lingered for a moment and as soon as she did it, she had finished and he could hear her light footsteps walking away. 

Severus’s mind was going faster than he thought it could go. She had kissed him! She didn’t recoil from his person. Maybe just maybe he could make the best of this new relationship they were forming. Maybe just maybe he could be happy. 

He knew he needed his body to wake up, but it still fought against him nothing worked. Being aware of what was going on made him mentally tired. He slowly started to drift to sleep, hoping for no more nightmares. As his mind went to sleep he thought back to the innocent kiss Hermione had given him.


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione stopped quickly at Madame Pompfrey’s desk

“Excuse me ma’am, would you know where the headmistress would be at this point in the day?” Hermione asked happily

“Well dear she should be in the great hall as it is almost lunch time. You are more then welcome to stay for lunch” Madame Pompfrey said happily

“Oh I didn’t even realize it was that time already, was I really here for almost three hours already?” Hermione asked questioningly

“Well yes you got her around nine this morning, you did read to him for quite some time. Go and get some lunch my dear it will do you some good.” Madame Pomfrey said in a motherly way

“Alright thank you ma’am, I will see you either at lunch or most likely in a few days as I won’t stop by this weekend.” Hermione said with a sad note to her voice

“Go on now, I can entertain Severus for two days. Go and relax you are still young and shouldn’t be worrying so much. Go do something for you” Madame Pompfrey said in a stern voice

“Alright thank you ma’am, have a good weekend” Hermione said smiling and started to walk away

Hermione made her way to the great hall, going slowly to see what areas were still needing to be repaired. Looking outside a window she could see that the courtyard which was only partially fixed when she got there in the morning was no longer strewn with rubble, but now once again looked like it did the way she remembered it from her first day in Hogwarts. The massive fountain was flowing like it had never stopped, and she could hear birds chirping for the first time since before the war.

Walking along the corridors Hermione could see the pock marks from spells that thankfully missed their intended mark. She knew the headmistress was keeping the small ones as a reminder to the youth of tomorrow and any of those who walk through the halls, that following evil will not get you anywhere in life and that evil will always be destroyed. 

Continueing around the halls, Hermione walked past classrooms that were destroyed with rubble and desks strewn around. She wanted to stop and fix them all, but she knew if she did it herself she would be exhausted before she could even finish one. Headmistress McGonagall had a plan of areas that were to be fixed first the most important areas first then work into the lesser areas. There was always a plan, and it needed to be followed.

Hermione finally made her way to the great hall, this was the first area that was completed within days of the final battle. However there were only a few people who were in the castle at any times so only one table was set up. Teachers sitting with everyone from students to parents.

Hermione saw that the headmistress wasn’t there, walking up to professor Flitwick she sat down and started to speak with him.

“Good afternoon Professor, do you know where the headmistress is?” Hermione asked as a plate of food popped in front of her

“Oh good afternoon, miss Granger. Here again to see Severus? I do hope he does wake soon. We could use his help with the castle.” Professor Flitwick said honestly

“Well yes sir, I did come to see Professor Snape, but I am now looking to find the headmistress she asked me to come find her when I was finished in the infirmary. Would you know where she is by chance?” Hermione stated before taking a bite out of her sandwich

“Oh yes I do know where she is. She left only a few minutes before you walked in. She told me if I ran into you, to inform you she is in her office and she would like you to come once you are finished eating. The password for the office is an odd name I don’t know where she thought of this but is it Puddytat.”Professor said laughing

Hermione just laughed as she understood the reference. Professor Flitwick just looked at her oddly and went back to eating his lunch.

Hermione made small talk with the people who were seated at the table. Most were asking why she wanted to come back and not take an honorary NEWT pass based on what she had just gone through in the past year. She just shook her head telling them how she wanted to earn them fair and square.

Hermione finished her sandwich and stood up and bid a farewell to her Professors at the table. Walking out of the great hall she made her way to the headmistress’s office.

Walking through the corridors she found the large gargoyle that guarded the office. Hermione took a dep breath and said “Puddytat”. Waiting for the gargoyle to finish moving she started her walk up, coming to the large wooden door she knocked.

“Come in” Came a voice behind the door

Hermione slowly pushed the door open, once opening she could see the large room, with wall to wall books and pictures of all the former headmasters. Looking up she could see the newly placed picture of Albus Dumbledore sleeping peacefully in his chair. After looking around Hermione saw that Headmistress McGonagall was offering her a chair, she took it and sat down nervously.

“I see you found out my password, I must have just missed you in the great hall didn’t I?’ McGonagall stated

“Well yes I took the long way from the infirmary just looking at the school, so when I walked in there I ran into Professor Flitwick and he told me the password with a very odd look thinking it was a very weird password. I knew   
what it was from right away, I didn’t think you would have known that muggle show?” Hermione asked quizzically 

“Well I didn’t know for many years, the Albus introduced me one day to that show and I thought it was just a waste of my brain to watch it. But over time I grew to love that show and it reminds me of Albus.” McGonagall said handing Hermione a dish with lemon drops in it

“No thank you ma’am I’m not the biggest fan of citrus.” Hermione said as politely as she could

“It’s alright dear, myself either. However I just can’t make myself get rid of them as Albus always had one on his desk and if you look closely to his portrait he has a dish of them on the desk behind him” McGonagall said pointing her finger up to his portrait

“Now I would like to know how you are doing. I heard from Mr.Potter that your parent’s memories couldn’t be brought back.” McGonagall asked sadly

“I am doing okay ma’am still trying to process everything that has happened. Im glad to know that they are safe, but I do wish that I could see them and have them know that I am their daughter one more time.” Hermione said sadly

“That is understandable dear. Everyone has lost someone in one way or another in this war. We have to make sure we are all supporting each other in this hard time.” McGonagall said in a motherly tone

“Now did you find the information that I couldn’t give you yesterday? And now don’t lie to me, because I know you better than that.” McGonagall said sternly

“I…well…. Yes I did ma’am. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and needed to know this. I went to my parents’ house this morning and looked it up on the internet. I know I shouldn’t have but I just couldn’t not know.” Hermione said nervously

“I understand that you need for knowledge is great, but sometimes finding information out that is not supposed to be spoken of is not the knowledge you should know. However I do believe you wouldn’t speak of this information to anyone, or you may not remember ever finding out this information. Severus is a very private man and only those within that small very small circle know that information, do not destroy his life when he is just getting it back.” McGonagall sternly said

“No ma’am I have no reason to tell anyone about what I learned. I feel bad that he has to hide who he is. I understand it’s still a taboo in the wizarding culture, but he deserves to be happy. I would never betray him, I hope that we will be on speaking terms when he wakes. I care about him” Hermione said without realizing what she had said

“I know you care my dear you are here five days a week since he was brought here, but be very careful. He isn’t a nice man at times and is a very introverted man, who likes his peace and quiet. He is also your professor still. And will be until you have finished your final year. You are young do not put aside how you feel because of that however find in your mind and heart what you mean when you say you care. It can mean many different things. Now to the actual reason I wanted to speak with you” McGonagall said smiling

Hermione just looked at her dumb founded did she just imply that she wouldn’t stop a relationship or feeling between her and her professor? Hermione snapped out of that thought, she may care about him she was still with Ron, and loved him didn’t she? The fact that she had to think about that made her worried. Maybe she didn’t love him in the way she thought she had a lot of things to think about. But Severus wouldn’t want her, she was young and an insufferable know it all right? Or would he?

“Oh yes ma’am what would you like to chat about?” Hermione said snapping out of her day dream

“I would like for you to finish your final year before the New Year. Not that I don’t want you here or that I don’t think you would do great in your final year. But because Professor Flitwick would like to retire in two school years. And I would like to offer you a charms apprenticeship starting in January” McGonagall said happily


End file.
